You have now had your angel wings for just over a month. It still seems like it was only yesterday that you flew away but also feels like I have been missing your sweet face for a lifetime.
We spent this past weekend remembering and honouring you.
On Friday night we went to visit the spot where your body is laid to rest. Auntie Tracy brought balloons. We all wrote on our balloons and sent them up to you in heaven. Your brothers loved watching the balloons make their way up to you. Your dad and I loved it too. The balloons knew the way to you. They all went together. We could still see them way up in the clouds. I wish I could see you way up there... I miss you.
I hope you got the balloons and loved them. They carried with them a little piece of love from each of us.
On Saturday we did the walk to remember. It was beautiful. All the names of the precious babies that flew to heaven long before their parents were ready to let them go were written on the sidewalk. We all walked and read the name of those angels and remembered and honored each one. Seeing your name was emotional. Someone else wrote it. Someone else knows your name. That for some reason means a lot to me.
After the walk the group blew bubbles together for all of your friends up in heaven. We decided to take our bubbles to your grave site and blow them there. It's beautiful and peaceful there.
On Sunday it was a month since you passed away. This day was a day for tears. A day for missing you. A day for loving you. It was also a day for questions and frustrations, for anger and pain. It's not fair. You should be here laying in my arms and I should be holding your hand and kissing your cheek. This will never be ok with me and will never be understood by me. My heart is broken. I miss you so much.
I promise I will not let anyone forget you.
I love you as big as the sky my sweet prince. Sending all my love and hugs ans kisses up to you in heaven.
Love momma.
I admire the strength and passion you have as a family. I love that your hearts are pure. As much as it seems as though people have moved on and your life is still living through the pain, I can tell you, Madden is part of my thoughts daily. My level of logic and interpretation of life has become even more profound. I want you to know Deluca's , you are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI've tried so many times to sit down and write something inspirational or comforting but most times I sit down and feel so sad and angry for you and your family, that you never got to spend ...... Life with Madden.
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that Madden has changed my life. He has made me realize just how precious life is and how the small stuff sometimes isn't worth it. He has made me admire the true love of a mother, devotion of a family, not to mention the determination and strength of a tiny boy that kept living to give you time to see who he really was, a strong fighter. Thanks to Madden, I will love more......with my whole heart.
Carly, Thank you for writing your experience down and sharing it with the world. You have a great gift to paint such a vivid picture that made me smile, cry and pray like I've never prayed before. I hope this gets easier for you and when you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, remember that a teacher is always quite during a test. Alway here for you-Angela Eaton.
Never forgotten...The legacy your Madden has left here on earth is powerful & it's beautiful. His memory lives on in my 'mothers heart' & in the hearts of countless others for eternity. Thank you for making me more aware of my blessings & for the awakening of the realization of how truly blessed i am.
ReplyDeleteBlessings for your family...
You are a beautiful family with such deep hearts and God love you and hold you in His hands eternally. And Madden is forever as you are forever. I love your love.
ReplyDeleteThinking of your family today. We often think of all of you and how you are doing. My God continue to bless you Carley, Your husband Rocky, You beautiful boys, Kaelin and Ryker. Please know that so many of us still keep you in our hearts and our prayers! God Bless.
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