Last night I was talking to Madden like I usually do. Telling him I miss him and love him and hope he is being taken care of. For some reason last night I also started talking to my grandparents, my dad's parents whom I never met - they passed away when my dad was very young. In my heart I just believe that they are together. That they were waiting for Madden to welcome him to heaven. That they are taking care of my baby.
Though in my heart I believe they are all together, my mind wants to know it. While I was talking to my grandparents I asked them to give me a sign that the three of them were together and that my baby is ok, that they are taking care of him. I asked them to give me 3 pennies all together. I know its a lot to ask for but I wanted something concrete, something that would show me beyond a doubt that they are all together.
Later that night I also talked to my dad and asked if he thought they were all together. We talked about my fear of Madden being alone. He believes they are together and it made me feel better.
Today on my way home from work I stopped and picked up Ryker from the dayhome. He was playing around with some stuff in the backseat but I didn't think much of it. We walked in the house and started getting all our winter stuff off. Just as I was about to take his jacket off Ryker looked and me and said "Mom, I want you to have this money, it is very special" and my sweet little delivery boy handed me 3 pennies.
Three pennies all together. The sign I asked for.
No doubt in my mind this was a gift from my son and my grandparents to let me know that they are all together and they are ok. My son is ok. Its the only thing we want as parents, to know our children are ok.
Today I felt Madden's love. Today I found a little bit of peace. Today my baby gave me the most precious gift.
Thank you my sweet prince. I love you as big as the sky. xoxo
Remember February is heart month! This month I am honouring all the heart babies near and far.
Happy heart month! ♥
