Going on without you is hard. So hard. I miss you more and more every day. I miss your chubby little hands, your kissable little cheeks, your soft dark hair, your beautiful dark eyes. I miss it all. I just miss you. Perfect little you.
I am starting to understand how people can continue on in life when they have lost someone so special to them. It's because time doesn't stop. Time doesn't wait for you, it just keep on moving. I didn't know how we would ever make it through your funeral...but we did. We did because the day came and went just like every other day does. Time keeps going no matter how badly I want it to stop and wait for me to be ready for it keep going.
I don't understand why life happens the way it does. I don't understand why you can't be here in my arms where you belong. Your momma is so sad without you.
I hope you know how much I love you and how special you are to me. You mean the world to me. The minute you were born I fell in love with you. I love you with the kind of love that never ends no matter how far away from me you are. It's a special love.
Today the Wallace family came to visit you and the kids brought some teddy bears for you. They also sent a balloon up to heaven for you. I hope you got it.
You are so loved by so many people. People that never even had the chance to meet you. You did amazing things while you were here Madden. You are a true hero.
Sending kisses and all my love up to heaven for you sweet prince. I love you as big as the sky. xoxoxo
Your words...they are for Madden, but they hit me hard. I just don't even have the words to convey how his and your lives have affected me. He is a hero to so many, as are you (don't forget your Mama strength is reaching across the globe and slapping us across the face and saying, "Hello! Don't worry if your kid just pooped his pants for the third time today, life is short and we need to grab a hold and appreciate it"). Just know that he most certainly did know you loved his perfect little self. He knew you loved him when he he grew inside your belly, saw your face, heard your voice...felt your touch. He knew, and he knows, and he always will because like you said, you will ALWAYS be his Momma. While it's no consolation for you to know that your words and your Madden are affecting those around you in a positive way, just know that it's happening!! Peace and love.
ReplyDeleteTears fall down my face for you.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you! You are an amazing Mom.
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