I love people

When we first found out that our unborn baby had a serious heart defect I wasnt sure how we were going to get through this. I wasn't sure how my family was going to be able to handle this. To be honest with you I dont think we would have been able to if it weren't for people. People we know and people we have never met. People are amazing. They have carried us through the minutes, hours and days we didn't think we were going to be able to get through. We have had so many people do so many incredible things for us. A few examples - Madden has a star in the sky named after him and watching over him, our freezer is full of food from people we know and people we don't know, people we know and people we dont know are praying for him, people have donated their time and money so that we can focus on getting our baby home, people have cleaned our house, people are thinking of our son while they are at home with their families - the list goes on and on. Words are not enough to express our gratitude. Madden has an army of people helping him fight for that we will be forever thankful. xox.

A quick update -

Apparently after my post last night Madden had an episode. His heart rate was almost in the 200's and his blood pressure dropped drastically. Poor Rocky has been there for the past two rough patches while I have been there for the smiles. It's not easy watching your child suffer knowing their well being is in someone else's hands. Apparently 3 nurses tried to comfort Madden for over 45 minutes and gave him a few doses of pain meds and some sedatives to try to settle him before finally calling one of the drs. She got there and told the nurses he needed fluid... Very frustrating because as Rocky was telling me what was going on I told him that he was probably dry and needed fluid. I just wish that if I can figure it out that fast it can get dealt with faster.

Today is day 50...

This morning I walked into the same situation as Rocky went through with Madden last night. This was happening all over again, at the same time morning rounds were at our bed. The drs were talking about how they were going to bring all his numbers down with medications. I was so frustrated I just started crying. To me it was so obvious that something was wrong with him. He was so upset and uncomfortable. I told the drs that they can do whatever they want medically but until they figure out what is actually bothering him and fix it, the numbers arent going to change. The dr listened...he walked over to Madden and examined him. His left arm happens to be about 3x the size of the right one and is inflammed and red and tender to the touch. He either has an infection, a clot or his arm is broken. They started him on antibiotics in case of infection and ordered an ultrasound and an x-ray to be done. They also increased his pain meds to help him with the discomfort. So far we dont have an answer but at least we have a reason as to why he is so upset. It seems to be one thing after another... The doctor thanked me four times today for challenging them.

Also had a chat with one of Madden's primary drs this afternoon. I finally asked him if they have ever seen a baby with Madden's anatomy...the answer was no. Not very comforting. Actually the entire talk wasn't all that comforting. A lot of obstacles that need to be overcome before we are at a safe place with our baby...we will get there.

Madden we love you as big as the sky and will fight with you and for you every minute of every single day. xoxo.